Hopkins Hugged Hasselhoff, a Hollywood Homily

One of the perks of my job is that I get to go to advanced screening of movies days or sometimes weeks before they open. Or maybe it's not so much a perk as a God-given right to see films for free away from teeming, stinking masses of the non-entertainment-media plebeian caste.

For instance, last night I got to go to a screening of 'Fantastic Four,' the Marvel comic adaptation from 20th Century Fox. It was in a big theater in Westwood. My boss, Matchity, got my name on the list from his contact at Fox publicity. There's always anti-pirate security there; you have to surrender any cell phone with a camera. The crowd, made up of all range of media types, is better behaved than your average movie audience, but nowhere near as responsive.

The movie blows, BTW.

Sometimes you'll spot a celebrity at one of these just there to peep the movie before anyone else. Rebekah and I saw Beck at 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.' Well, I saw Beck and then had to convince Rebekah that it was really him. Jack Black was at the big 'Star Wars' screening I went to two weeks before it opened (John Singleton, sitting right in front of me, whooped every time Chewbacca was on-screen).

Sometimes they give you free popcorn and sodas. We got these awesome flashlight keychains at 'Batman Begins' that project the Batsignal. They're fun and cheap and feel kind of 'inside' so there's still a little thrill that goes along with them.

And that's what I thought I was in for when I went with some guys from work to a screening of 'War of the Worlds' last week at the Chinese theater in Hollywood. But it wasn't the case. We found out when we got there it was a full-fledged premiere.

Red carpet. Paparazzi. Crowd of on-lookers.

It's pretty wild to be in the middle of it. Even when it's obvious no one there gives a rat's ass who you are. We walked down the red carpet, brightly lit even though the sun was still out. I saw Jann Carl from Entertainment Tonight standing on the sidelines looking bored to tears. We spotted the video crew who covers red carpet events for us and chatted with them. Apparently, Tom and Katie had arrived, but didn't stop to talk to the press. First time for everything.

We got our seats and kept our eyes peeled for celebrities trickling in. Anthony Hopkins we spotted first. Then Michael Clarke Duncan. Adrien Brody. Erika Christensen. Will Smith and his entourage (but no Jada). And Hasselhoff (who I saw up close later, and that guy is a giant).

Then the man of the hour, Tom Mapother himself, appeared with Katie in tow. I don't recall them not holding hands; she certainly didn't say a word. But he got on the mic at the front of the house and was charming and funny and smiling and being a movie star. Unhinged or not, there's a reason he's been at the top of the game for so long.

The next day at work I was back to pulling photos off the wire service and posting them on our site. Except this was an event I had been at. And I had proof. The video crew put us into the piece they did from the premiere. You can see it here: http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/waroftheworlds.html.

It's strange to be sort of on the cusp of Hollywood. Not a tourist, exactly, but certainly not a local. But it's not a bad place to stand. You get some of the benefits with none of the hassle. Walking past all those cameras, I couldn't quite imagine having them point at me. I get uncomfortable with just one taking my picture, let alone a hundred. I certainly wouldn't want every action, every decision and every utterance examined like Tom has lived with for over twenty years.

Oscar Wilde said that the only thing worse than having people talk about you was them not talking about you. As far as I'm concerned, Tom and Oscar can have that life. But I do like the free sodas.